Tis the season... busy season

well friends, i am 1 week away from finishing busy season. two months out of the year, january and august, we have double the normal work. the kids are out of 'normal' school for winter and summer break. only they don't get breaks. they get more school. and that's where we come in.

i'm glad i started out working 12-hour days, because then i won't take my leisurely schedule for granted. i'm hoping it will inspire me to make the most of my free time by filling it with all the things i want to do. so there is a definite upside to the timing of my arrival - long-term benefit and perspective, for a little short-term pain.

the downside is that it didn't make my transition all that easy. adjusting from my temporary retirement to working 9-9 again caused my body to reject my mind's new work-ethic. hell, even at kerr and downs i could sneak out a few 9 or 10-hour days. so yes, i am pretty tired - not as drained as i've ever been, but pretty tired nonetheless.

second, i had a lot of administrative stuff to handle. i had to get internet set up (took about a week and a half), get a bank account, and buy things i needed here (i neglected to bring a towel - wtf?). i'm going on a visa run to japan this wednesday. i also needed to have my washing machine repaired. these and other errands took up a lot of my time.

oh, and i'm also adjusting to living in a whole new culture that i neither know how to read nor write the language. because i'm new, i also have to spend a lot more time preparing for my classes, unlike most of the teachers who have put in some time here.

the relative stress of all this, plus:

1) the cold-ass weather,
2) the fact that i walk to school and around town,
3) my job is to talk constantly during the day, and
4) seoul's air is slightly cleaner than standing directly behind a semi-truck as it revvs its engine

all resulted in me getting ill. first a little exhaustion and a cold. then a cough crept in, until a week later i had to go to the doc who explained all the above and said, "it's laryngitis son, get some rest, water, and a humidifier." i got water & a humidifier. hagwons don't do rest.

needless to say, i've been fairly spent and unable to keep a diligent internet posting of my exploits so far. but i've got stories to tell, and i wanted to do them justice. i didn't want to come home, drained of energy, and type out some half-ass, unenergetic response to what i've done - so i'm saving it. one more week to go, and it's my time. until then, i'm heading to japan, working a few more sunrise to sunset shifts, and trying to save my energy for when it really counts.

welcome to busy season. put your head down, grit your teeth, and just ride it out. if that fails, i've heard a SARS mask does wonders.

...Read it all!

Proving Du's point

du: have you met the boss?
me: you mean won jang nim?
du: yeah.
me: of course, he and i sat down and talked as soon as i got here.
du: is it easy to make won jang nim mad?
me: i don’t think so; he’s a fair man. if you gave him a reason to get mad, sure he’ll probably be upset. but thankfully i’ve given him no cause to be angry with me.
du: are you fair?
me: am i fair? sure i am. does it seem like i get mad easily?
du: [short silence – nods his head in resignation as if he didn’t want to answer, like an abused student.]
me: [shocked] what? i don’t get mad easily!
du: you’re mad right now.

at this he started laughing in victory, i in defeat. the spectrum among the students here is wide. one hour i’ll be wrestling for attention from sleep and cell phones, trying to conjure a sound from silence, the next i’ll be verbally sparring, dancing around the wily games played by worldly children who are sharp as tacks.

...Read it all!

Saddam vs. Mickey

I've got a very good class of 5th graders, ages 10-11. They are a very well-behaved bunch, eager to learn (eyes almost always intently fixed upon me, as opposed to the cell phones many kids here worship), and a good grasp of english. however, every once in a while, in order to speak faster or translate unfamiliar material to classmates, the kids will revert to korean. this is what happened today.



after i assigned which page to turn to for our next story, two kids in the back of the class, benjamin & harry, begin speaking back and forth rapidly in korean. it took longer than i would have imagined it would take to translate which pages to turn to, so i interjected. "hey guys, that's some pretty fast talking back there. think you can speak that fast in english?"

"maybe, a little," harry replies.

"well what are you guys talking about? i want to participate, that's the only way i can help you with your english."

now most of the time when kids are speaking in korean, i imagine there's a reason beyond 'they prefer to.' these are middle school aged kids here. i'm imagining they're saying things they're not supposed to. maybe talking about how they hate the assignments, discussing soccer, making fun of girls, making fun of me – it’s got to be something taboo (says my paranoid mind).

"you know war? we're talking about war. the united states and iraq. [makes clashing sign with fists] they're fighting, and benjamin doesn't think the united states should be doing it. he thinks they are bad for being there."

then, in all sincerety, raising his voice in sympathy, "but i don't think so, i don't agree."

i howled out laughing, sore throat and all. for a second, i imagined a saturday night live skit where i'm putting words into the kids' mouths to make them say things i think are funny. ala bruce almighty. while laughing, it actually took me a second to process the hilarity of this scene.

"so we can talk politics in here?" i queried as seriously (and incredulously) as i could. looks of confusion. okay, new ground, not sure if they know the word politics.

"you know saddam hussein?" harry asks.

"of course i do" i reply.

[slashing hand across throat] "he's killed" harry informs me, which i acknowledge to be true.

shaking my head, amused, i look down at my book. "okay class, before we get into global politics and the morality of war, let's do our lesson for today. who wants to start reading on 'city mouse, country mouse'?"

...Read it all!

Don't mess with the wizard

my class levels vary from kids who speak in single-word responses to kids who have studied abroad and can speak fluently. sometimes it's just the contrast of struggling through a lower level class that makes the repartee in the latter funny. here are two short anecdotes from the latter category.



potter: why did you come to korea?
me: to teach you guys.
potter: but why here?
me: i did my research, i looked into it. i checked out greece, italy, japan, china, the phillipines, south america. korea had the best combination of things i was looking for.
potter: [incredulously] you did research?
me: sure did. i'm a market researcher, that’s what i do.
potter: prove it.
me: [stunned silence] - what?
potter: [straight faced] - prove it.

this may sound, from american ears, like a typical obnoxious middle school student challenging authority. what you must know is the relative shyness and social harmony that makes these types of exchanges rare. no punishment is needed here; 10 points to griffindor for non-conformity!

kid: you know harry potter?
me: not personally.
kid: harry potter?
me: which movie are you talking about? i've only seen 1 i think.
kid: you haven't read the books?
me: no.
kid [turns to other friend, and says disapprovingly under his breath]: lazy.

again, this got a great laugh out of me. i pulled the novel i had been reading from my briefcase, infinite jest, a 1000+ page tome written on bible-thin pages, and thumped it on his desk. "lazy indeed. struggle through a page or two of this, and talk to me about lazy. interested in some homework reading?" he looks at the open book, looks back at me and says, "so, you still haven't read harry potter."

can't argue with the kid. new goal for korea: read harry potter.

...Read it all!

Hogwarts in Korea

i teach harry potter. there's a kid in my "returnee" class (students who have studied abroad) who couldn't look more like potter if he tried. he's eluded any attempts to capture him on film, as i'm pretty sure it'd be unsafe what with voldemort out there and all. here's the closest i got (voldemort, turn your head):


in my standard introductions to my classes, they go through a battery of questions. the first is always "how old are you?" next, "where are you from?" third, "are you married?" in some of the advanced classes, they push the envelope.

potter queried, "why are you in korea?"
i had actually fielded this question before, without issue. so i harkened to my standard response.
"to teach you guys!"

the class sarcastically oohs, "awwwwwww.." which potter punctuates with a "you're killing me."

i proceed with the 30 minute version of my life story. not to pull any wool over their eyes (plus, i can say anything with impunity), i try to detail my journey from VA to FL to SC to Korea as truthfully as possible.

potter shoots his hand up as i explain the complexities of relationships and why i found myself single after a long-term romance (clearly, with the "you're killing me" comment, they're ready for advanced topics).

"so she broke up with you."

i kind of chuckle at his directness, and reply "no, we came to a crossroads..." and continue explaining the factors that led to my leaving florida.

potter's hand goes up again; i acknowledge it: "so you broke up with her."

again i can't help but laughing. "no potter, it's not that simple - class, do you know what 'mutual' means?" i work in an impromptu vocabulary lesson. seemingly satisfied, the class allows me to finish out my introduction.

now done, i ask if anyone has any questions. potter does. i roll my eyes jokingly and point to him.

"so after you teach you're going to go back to the united states to be with your girlfriend?"

the class laughs, and i join them. certainly they don't understand what i'm laughing at, but potter has managed to humor us all. i'll bet teachers across the world have classroom anecdotes that seem like their own little private jokes. i can tell this job's going to have its share of laughs. some may not translate, but i can't help but try to pass a few along.

...Read it all!

Happy New Year, Seoul! Viva… Iraq?

the first time i set foot in seoul was to ring in the new year. korea does new year twice – once for the calendar year, once for the lunar new year (apostates know it as the chinese new year). being american and uninitiated, i figured lunar new year was the thing over here and new years 2007 would be more of an afterthought. i didn’t expect much in the way of american holiday festivity and celebration – for either christmas, which had passed, or new years. just goes to show, you can’t always believe everything you read. there were christmas decorations everywhere, including christmas trees with lights, red and green streamers, and other little signs of the season that i thought i had left behind when i left the commercialized holiday-machine of the us. myth dispelled: coreans embrace christmas.




and new years?

for all of you who have reneged on your new years resolutions by the end of january, new life is found in the year of the pig. hello lunar new year! it’s like the mulligans of new years. couldn’t last a whole month without hitting the bottle? give it another shot in february!

so here my brother and i are wandering around the capital of korea. crowds are everywhere. it’s cold. kids are shooting fireworks from handheld bottle rockets. we both came within three feet of having our faces personally introduced to fireworks when an overzealous celebrant ran into a space just in front of us and threw down a lit roman candle for the unsuspecting crowd’s enjoyment. [the third sentence in wikipedia’s article on roman candles is no accident]

city hall seemed to have the most action, so we trekked from a live radio station broadcast, with dreadlocked singers performing, to the city gates, over to city hall itself. it was as we strolled through city hall that it happened.

we espy a group of foreigners doing the typical foreigner ritual of posing for group photographs minus the martyred photographer. i nudge my bro and coax him to offer help. “spread the positivity,” i urge. it’s so much easier to be vicariously brave. i watch as he strides toward them. the photographer smilingly accepts the offer, and my bro proceeds to snap a few photos of the group. it’s then that i see the flag – a guy in back is proudly holding up the flag of iraq.

the group disbands after two shots, and come toward their new photographer to reclaim the camera. words are exchanged (i’m wondering if any is english). they all excitedly start looking around and yelling comically at each other, and in an instant, i see them form around my brother in a group pose while another drops back in order to memorialize this moment on film. if this wasn’t strange enough, an older korean couple strolls along, sees the developing photo-op, and joins the photo! after the kodak moment was captured, the entire group coalesces again, and starts shouting happily and jumping up and down. they all put their arms around one another, my brother included. you’ve seen this scene before, under different circumstances. normally a flag is in the middle of the circle, or a noosed-up dummy of gw bush… on fire. this is the scene playing in my head, vs. what my eyes are witnessing. i can’t understand what the hell is going on, but it looked absurdly happy. everyone was smiling and shouting, dancing and hopping around in camaraderie, totally swept up in the excitement. i would have paid my entire first month’s salary for a camera to take one solitary picture of this moment.

it became clear in this single moment that i’ve made the right decision to come to korea.

and somewhere in iraq right now, there’s a picture of my brother grinning from ear to ear, hopping around with a group of iraqi countrymen proudly waving their flag and ringing in a new year.

...Read it all!